Eli and Jack were overly blessed by grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and of course Mommy and Daddy. But it was througly enjoyable watching Eli open the presents and gape at each one. :)
We had another crazy yet wonderful Christmas this year. :) It was so very different then Eli's first Christmas... That year we spent all our time racing to each parent's houses and then to the NICU and back again. This Christmas there was no NICU in sight for us! What a blessing. :) We did run from one house to another, but that is ok when you have your family in tow. :)
Eli and Jack were overly blessed by grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and of course Mommy and Daddy. But it was througly enjoyable watching Eli open the presents and gape at each one. :)
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Every year we try to use Eli's birthday as a chance to give back to those who gave us so much during our first months/years with him. This year we collected blankets, little packs of tissues and little hand sanitizers to put into gift bags to be given to the parents in the NICU. We finally got them together and were able to take the up the the hospital today! The nurses let us right in and we went the the front desk. They recognized us right away and it was great! They took Eli to meet some of the babies and even let him give out the bags to the parents that were there. :) It was sureal to be back there.... I didn't go past the front desk. I couldn't. I had tears in my eyes just standing there. The nurses were great and took Eli all around, but they understood why I couldn't go further.
I hope that the mom's and dad's get hope from seeing Eli and recieving those little gift bags! <3 <3 So it's Christmas time... And this year I just can't get into it. I have been trying... Really trying... But since last Friday, it really seems hopeless. :/ All I can think about is those parents... and the first day they held their babies.
When your baby is born and you see them for the first time, and hold them, and smell them, all you can do is dream. You dream of when they will walk, when they will talk, their first day of school, when they trun 16, drive a car for the first time, graduate from high school, go off to college, graduate college, get their dream job, get married, start a family... These are all the dreams of a parent and they all flood into you when you first hold your baby. And for these 20 parents, those dreams have stopped. Just stopped. Now their dream is to see their child in heaven, to give them all the hugs and kisses of a lifetime that will build up... I can't help but think about God on the night Jesus was born. He became a dad that night... A parent just as much as Mary and Joseph. In some ways harder... Because He had dreams for Jesus... Dreams to see Jesus learn to walk and talk... Dreams to see Jesus grow old... But He knew all to well that Jesus wouldn't grow old here on Earth with Mary and Joseph. He knew that one day, someone would choose to take Jesus' life... So I know that God knows right what these parents are feeling... Because it happened to His Son too. Someone made a decission and people died. On Friday, 20 children and 7 adults... Many, many years ago our Savior on a cross... You can't help but feel the dreams that have been stolen from these families.... You can't help but pray for them... Yesterday... Most times when you say the word, it's just that... A word. But when you say the word yesterday today, it brings back sorrow and fear.
When yesterday started, moms and dads sent their children to school without fear, without thought, without worry. The children went to school innocent, full of giggles and happiness, with no fear. On Monday when we send our children to school many parents will be apprehensive, many will hug their child just a little to long, give just a few to many kisses. Children will go to school most still with their innocence in tact, but for some they will go to school scared and fearful of what might happen, and rightfully so. Yesterday 20 children and 6 of their teachers and staff members joined the choir of heaven all to soon. I still can't wrap my head around it. I cried more yesterday than I have in a month. My heart to so sad for those mama's and dad's who won't put their babies to bed again till they are reunited in heaven. My heart breaks for the innocence that was lost by all the other elementary schoolers who had to witness the horrific incident yesterday. My heart bleeds for the families who are having to hold the babies who are still here and try to explain why this happend to their friends. The only thing that I can find to lean on is my faith. I know that God was there, holding the hand of all 26 people as they entered heaven yesterday. I can't say why these things happen, other than we are human and God loved us so much that He gave us the right to choose our own paths. And some people don't choose a good path. Some people choose a bad path, a very bad path. But there are still good people in the world. Those teachers who protected the children? They are good people. The police men who ran into the school without thought for themselves? They are good people. The firefighters who helped the teachers get the kids to safety? They are good people. The children who were brave and followed the instructions of terrified adults? They are WONDERFUL people. This is what I find hope in here on Earth... That there are still good people willing to fight for and protect others. These are just some thoughts that I have had in the past 24 hours.... Here are some other things that I find hope and solice in... John 11:35, "Jesus wept." (I know that Jesus cried yesterday while holding those babies in His arms.) Psalm 23:4 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." (Someone once told me to remember the fact that where there are shadows, there is light. I find hope in that light.) My heart, love, hope, prayers, thoughts and wishes go out to the people who are involved in this tragedy. What if Christmas wasn't all about the presents? And the trees? And the lights? And the baking? And the food? And the traveling?
What if Christmas was ONLY about family? And friends? And caring for others? What if Christmas was ONLY about Christ? A tiny baby... A baby who was born into the world to change it! To tillt it on it's axis and make it a different, BETTER place? What if we changed the world and made a difference this Christmas? How can we do that? How can YOU and I do that this Christmas? I decided to try my hand at a Christmas photo shoot myself this year. :) Take a look at what turned out...
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