My Ache is that feeling deep in your heart, near your stomach that comes when you realize that the season of babies is done in your life.
It's hard for me to acknowledge the fact that I will never again be pregnant, never again feel my baby move inside me, never again hear the sweet heartbeat for the first time, never again see the beautiful image of my child in an ultrasound. It's hard for me to acknowledge that this season of my life is over. My heart Aches over it some days... Ok, if I am honest, most days. I cry over it, I have sobbed over My Ache.
It is hard for me some days... When I hit up Facebook and I see an announcement... We are EXPECTING! I always say the obligatory "Congrats!" and like your pictures. I TRULY am happy for each and every one of you. I have been there! It really is a MIRACLE to carry a baby. And I am so so so happy for each person who posts that you are expecting. It just makes My Ache hurt a little more for a moment...
Another thing that is agonizing is to hear that you are expecting a baby girl. My Ache hurts a little more when I am walking through the girl clothes section or see the dolls in the toy aisle. I am EXTATIC that you are having a girl, truly I am! I can't wait to hit up the little pink dresses and Minnie Mouse rattles! I will thoroughly enjoy holding her and loving on her. But just for a moment (sometimes a few moments) My Ache becomes almost deafening... So if I seem a little sad, or a little stand-offish... Please know that I truly am happy for you! I just need a moment to quiet My Ache enough to hear my heart!
So there... I said it. It's out there. My Ache hurts over the littlest things. But I know that the seasons of life come and go for a reason. I am amazed at how fast they go by! My babies are no longer "babies" they are now toddlers and preschoolers. My Ache is still there, but my seasons keep changing.