When I found out I was pregnant with Eli, I had all these dreams... To have the perfect pregnancy, the perfect no drug birth on my due date. To be the best mom ever. I wouldn't have to yell at my kids, or put them in time out, or have to disipline in any way. I would have the perfect blue eyed brown haired child who would sit quietly while we were in restaurants. The perfect child who never yelled or threw a temper tantrum.
And then reality set in. I didn't have the perfect pregnancy either time, I ended up having 2 c-sections with LOTS of drugs, I ended up with all kinds of PPD. My kids are anything but quiet in restaurants (I now don't even glance when I hear another child having a meltdown... I know how it feels!). My kid has been in timeout more than a few times, I have had to raise my voice and disipline. My kid throws temper tantrums like nobody's business and I am starting to worry about when they BOTH will throw a tantrum at the same time!
So I have had to learn to forgive myself... Forgive myself for not having the perfect plan to help my kids not have tantrums. Forgive myself for not having control of my pregnancy. Forgive myself for the mistakes I have made in parenting and will continue to make. Because I am not perfect. My kids are not perfect. And forgiveness is the key to surviving in tis crazy life that is anything but perfect!